Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Come see our sink grown plant.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
