I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
