normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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