Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
