It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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