I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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