You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize