You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
