I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
