The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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