capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
