it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
