I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
