Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
