I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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