Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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