she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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