When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize