i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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