Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
