so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
