No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
