I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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