out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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