So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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