Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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