Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
