A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize