Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
