wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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