the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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