Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
