U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
