i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
either way he was missing a nipple.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
