I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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