There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
