Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
