I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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