For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
