and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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