this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
