If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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