Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
