$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
