Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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