so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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