covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
