i already hear my dad disowning me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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