Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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