it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
