Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
