I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
