ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
