have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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