Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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