K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
