I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize