If i could tip my vagina, i would.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
