I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
