I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
