he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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