3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
