Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
