its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize