Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
